like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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