Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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