I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
