Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
