omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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