question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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