Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Dicks are not precious.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
