hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize