I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
