after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize