It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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