Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
