can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
The feeling are messing with the penis
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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