A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
