Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
