Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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