she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
