Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
