Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
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