let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Holy shit dude........stairs
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
