Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
