all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize