Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
