If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
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I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
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I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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