I bet he comes in French.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
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she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
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If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
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