so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
