At least make sure they are 18
Why
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
