Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
