I feel like abortions should bother me more
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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