either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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