why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
