I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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