Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
