Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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