I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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