did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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