This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
