things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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