Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I take back everything I said about communal showers
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
