He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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