i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
