i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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