i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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