actually, I'm a sock model
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize