I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Let's paint friendship bongs
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Randomize
