i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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