Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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