It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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