the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You have to summon your inner elephant
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
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