I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize
