Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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