She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
