her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
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