she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
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i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fence marks all over my body
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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