You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
