atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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