never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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