Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Farmville is her only friend.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
