you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
