yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
