I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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