Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
