When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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